wow. this trip was so wonderful. i needed this. i cried. i laughed. my body aches in places i never thought it could. one of the best experiences of my life. and hands down, i would do it again in a heartbeat. i wasn’t prepared for this kind of work out. i wasn’t ready for this. it just makes me more determined to be better, a better person, better health, better mind. i feel so much better coming out of it and i just want to keep this going. there was a point during this set of switchbacks where i thought i was going to die, the pack had continued up the mountain and anthony stayed with me, i was in so much pain, my joints were killing me, i couldn’t lift up my right leg, i felt my knees were going to buckle. i was having altitude sickness at the same time. but he kept encouraging me all the way up, until we made it to the top. 4.1 miles there, gained almost 1500ft in altitude in 2 miles, i was determined to die on that mountain, but the reward at the end was so worth it.. i can’t wait to do this again :)
currently in the van driving 4 hours north to backpack up a mountain with anthony, dahlia, will, isa, hektor, nora. i’ve never done this before, i’ve never hiked like this before. i’m scared, i’m nervous, i’m coming out of having a kidney infection a few days ago so i feel extra lethargic. i’m excited because i haven’t ever done anything like this before. and to be able to shut off of social media for a weekend, get away from my stress at home, unwind and breathe in the freshest air and be around people i care about. i can’t wait to photograph the mountains and see the fog. i can’t wait for this trip and to share this experience with everyone. i’ll probably update later on when i get back ✌️
dark nights and bright lights in echo park.
i took this on my iphone and it feels so moody to me. he photographs so well <3
every time it rains here, there’s a part of me that wants to stop what i’m doing completely and lay in bed and cuddle, and the other part of me that wants to jump in puddles and get my hair wet. this morning, i got up at 530 to hear the drizzle outside. it changes everything for me, puts me in a better mood, and i usually listen to death cab or radiohead all day. today is death cab, particularly transatlanticism demos. a couple months ago, i hadn’t really explored this album until anthony put it on and i stored the info for later use. and now, it’s the album that is getting me through this day. ❤️
it’s a weird feeling when you have to completely start over from scratch. you lived one way for so long and now you are going to live a different way. i work in hollywood at a boujie spa and i’m looking for an apartment out this direction for the near future. a year ago i didn’t think i would be here, but here i am. sometimes i get nervous to brace life alone, put myself out there as a creative in a city of wolves where so many others are doing the same. it’s so nice when you are surrounded by people that inspire you constantly, people that bring you up, and drive you to achieve your goals. i’ve never seen such drive before in my life than with the few close friends i have. i’ve met so many new friends over the past 8 months, had the craziest experiences, seen the best concerts, laughed the hardest, smiled the biggest, danced the sweatiest, cried the ugliest, and loved the most. when i’m down on myself and i feel like giving up, i remind myself of these individuals that make it worth it. i love you.
you and i forever
icy lips and mirror eyes
last drop of winter
wow. my dad graduated with his doctorate today. i got to see him graduate with his masters degree 7 years ago and then to see him walk today was a rush. i’m so incredibly proud of him for what he accomplished. he gave up his good paying job working in the film industry for so many years just to finish school. he didn’t have a high school diploma and was determined. he decided to do three things when he was 43. run a marathon, write a book, and get a phd. as of today, at 60, he’s accomplished all three of those. wow. and tomorrow he turns 61!!! so crazy proud to call him my father. congrats dr. dean albert ramser!
last night, Raychel and I took a surprise trip to ventura to see cheridomingo play. I haven't seen them play in a while, so this was so worth it. this place was called the tavern, and it was beautiful. this huge huge bar, with an outdoor deck, taco man, dance club?, and a live room. I would totally come back here. also, i’m completely in love with these photos. and anthony’s new chucks 😍.
in nov of 2017, i was gifted a ticket to go see circa survive for my first time with anthony, gonzales, mel, adam and fisher. i was warned about the pit and how crazy the crowd can be. i can say, this was one of the best experiences of my life. i had never be to anything like this before in my life. i felt like i was having an outer body experience, levitating above the crowd. anthony and i stayed in for a long as possible, only to leave the pit at the last song to get some water. it was incredible. im sitting here trying to find the best way to describe this trance i was in, but i blank every time. this was one for the books, becoming one being, snake dancing with him and the others, floating around in the crowd from one side to the other. if i could relive this night over and over again, i totally would. i took one photo of circa, shitty iphone grab, but i was able to find a video on youtube of one of the crazy songs. i loved this so much. now they are easily one of my favorite bands, no doubt.
lips and bodies
skin is striking like matches
behind a cage of bones
i’ve been in a mood recently with my music and i feel like i have to share it.
radiohead is one of my favorite groups and as of late, i’ve submerged myself in “a moon shaped pool”. when this first came out, i liked a couple songs but didn’t really explore it because i was stubborn it didn’t sound like their old stuff, but now i’ve grown to absolutely love this album. my current favorite songs off this record would be ‘decks dark’ and ‘ful stop’. they put me in such a moooodd. also, the single ‘spectre’ is a good time. and of course, i can’t go a day without listening to videotape off of “in rainbows”.
another two albums i’ve had on repeat is “blue sky noise” and “the amulet” by circa survive. after going to my first circa show with cheridomingo back in november and completely losing myself in this whole experience of a show, i’ve become a little obsessed with them. in january, i was able to photograph anthony green play an acoustic show in hollywood and then in april i was put on the guest list to photograph circa live. holy fuck, that show was incredible. i jumped in the pit with my camera in hand, with people that mean more to me than life itself, feeling high on life, snake dancing until i couldn’t feel my body anymore. i’m addicted.
lcd soundsystem. now this one is super special to me. i fell in love with them years ago, and when they came to la in november to promote their new album "american dream", tickets were over $100 and i said fuck it and took anthony with me. the crowd, the energy, the love, everything at this show was better than i imagined. we danced all night like our two bodies became one, losing ourselves in the music, singing and jumping, strangers becoming friends, all the love shared. this was being on drugs without the drugs. just love. one of the best experiences of my life, hands down. this album is a great listen from start to finish, with my favorites 'american dream' and 'oh baby'. everytime I hear this album, I put myself back in that night and it makes my entire being feel things.
i’ve started a new job in west hollywood and on these long morning drives, i put this album on. start to finish, it puts me in the best mood and i encourage you to listen. i was blessed to be apart of the album art for this wonderful project. i love these people so much. so so much.
the best kind of smile